Autism Awareness Month is every month!

Everyday of every year is Autism Month in our family. You can go days, even weeks and think, wow things finally are going well, this might actually turn out ok then BAM, Autism rears it's ugly head and everyone is in action mode. Without a great team behind a child/adult with Autism they are facing an uphill battle. We fought very hard to get the team our son has in place, we are the lucky ones. 
Thats why it is so important to be there for the family you know with a kid on the spectrum. Help out by babysitting, hangouts with your kids, or overnights, the holy grail of any autism parent. I promise you that parent will love you forever!

Why I am Boycotting Autism Speaks

I am the parent of a child with Autism.

Yet, I have never felt comfortable with Autism Speaks, a charity that many of my friends in Hollywood strongly support.  You see, years ago I saw the founders, Bob & Suzanne Wright, on the Today Show and something they said made me look up from my breakfast and say, “did that really just come out of their mouths”?  They said that their grandchild, the one who inspired the organization, developed autism after getting vaccines.

Let me state very clearly that I do not trust the pharmaceutical companies one bit. In my time as a Nurse I saw first hand how they bribe doctors with fancy lunches, dinners and gifts to ensure they prescribe their drugs.  Nor do I trust the government to always protect me from these lobbyists - after all, they’re lining the coffers of our elected officials. That said, as a nurse, I understand the history behind vaccines and why they’re important. I studied the plagues, the painful unnecessary suffering and deaths, the annihilation of whole segments of societies. Vaccines are of vital importance, now more than ever, with the ease of international travel and import of goods. As with every medical decision, do your research and err on the side of caution. I advised my son and daughter-in-law to seek out a pediatrician who would space out the vaccines over time as opposed to grouping them. This way you know what shot caused what reaction, whether it be a fever or rash etc. However, Autism Speaks continues to support the belief that Autism comes from vaccines, therefore putting future generations at risk for now eradicated diseases. Then to make matters worse, the Wrights continue to fire anyone who challenges their belief.

My issue with Autism Speaks doesn’t end with vaccines.  For example: electroshock therapy. Really, is this the 1950’s?  I’m also disgusted by the fact that they do not have one person with Autism on their board or in any leadership role. How can they possibly address issues affecting those on the spectrum while clearly discriminating against those they say they are advocating for? There is a slogan in the world of disability outreach, “Nothing About Us, Without Us.” I want my son to have a say in how he wants the world to see him, how can he do that if he himself can not sit on their board.

Please I encourage – NO, I’m begging you - do your own research on Autism Speaks.

If you really want to help out the Autism community give your time and money to your local groups and programs. There you will see the most immediate and necessary impact. Our family favorite is Friendship Circle. While we Autism parents appreciate the science being done in labs that doesn’t do us any good in the here and now. What does? A place where we can drop our kids off for an hour so we can get a much needed break. Or a church/temple run playgroup our kids can hang out at because our kids don’t get invited to classmates houses. And my personal favorite, the one that has always meant the most? The friend who calls and says, “drop your kid off to play at my house with my kids for a few hours and go home to take a hot bath or go get a mani-pedi.”

That one doesn’t cost you a dime and it’s the best gift you could ever give an Autism parent! 

I hope that by sharing my personal opinion and experience it will make you reexamine your support of Autism Speaks, only time will tell.......

Happy 50th Birthday Baby Sis

One of my earliest memories is of my Mom pregnant with my sister. I still vividly remember the blue gingham maternity top she was wearing, and her long black curly hair. I used to brush her hair to help her relax, I was 4. Then 50 years ago today 12-03-1963 my world changed forever, it was the day my mom gave birth to my baby sister Lisa.  I wasn't one of those older sibs who wanted to know when she was going back, no, she was my real life Baby Doll! I still remember sitting next to her crib watching her sleep and waiting patiently for her to wake up, sometimes to my Mothers chagrin, I would gently shake the crib, just so she would wake up and I could play with her. While we had our typical sibling fights, they were few and far between, we were and remain to this day the best of friends. We talk almost everyday, we have experienced heartache, great joy and happy times together. So today Lisa I celebrate you and hope in this next phase of life, you know the over-the-hill phase, you make it the best yet! Take risks, find love, change it up, enjoy your friends, make everyday count, make everyday the best day yet! If you do who knows what the future will hold for you, Only time will tell.....

My Dad the Veteran

Veterans Day is probably the day I am most filled with memories of my dad, not because I was an army brat. No, he was out of the Army by the time he married my Mom. It is because those years in the Army were a happy time for him and he told us EVERY story there was to tell a few hundred times, and I am being very conservative with those numbers. I know most are thinking, being in the army is a happy time?  I have ponder'd that thought dozens of times over my life. But lets face it, being born during the Great Depression in New York City to a deadbeat dad who dies when you are 14, then add to that a mentally unstable mother, no, it is not the recipe for a happy childhood. 
What I have come to believe is he enjoyed knowing I will always have 3 meals a day, a bed all my own to sleep on and a structured stable "family".  It actually makes me very sad considering the very happy stable childhood he provided for me and my two siblings. Then again the combination of those contrasting lives are what formed him into the man he was to become and the loving family man we all knew and loved and miss so much today.

So, Happy Veterans day to my Dad who LOVED his country and loved serving his country. Thankfully he was lucky enough to do it in one of the few times our country was at peace.
I hope that some day his grandchildren will lovingly pass on to their children Pop-Pop's stories of "The Service" and his love of country, only time will tell....

Tick, tick, tick....

Embarrassingly I have a confession to make. I want to be a grandmother! I am definitely one of those annoying Moms, always begging my MARRIED kids for a grandchild. As I told my daughter-in-law, although her biological clock might not be ticking mine certainly was. I NEEDED a baby in my life.  Who doesn’t love the yummy smells, the sensation of a baby laying on your chest and feeling their heart beat on yours? Those tender moments at feeding time when it’s just you and your baby and she is staring intently into your eyes, my heart is melting just at the memory.

Thankfully my kids always listen to their mom. Happily today is my granddaughter’s due date.  Since little girl has decided not to make an appearance on her own, her beautiful mommy will be induced tomorrow.  It seems baby girl is rather large, and mommy is rather small, not a good combo for natural childbirth.  So today we all sit on pins and needles anxious to meet the newest member of the family.  Will she look like her daddy? Will she be as fussy as he was as a baby? Will she have her mommy’s delicate features? What color will her eyes be?  Only time will tell…..

There's history in those hands.....

I remember when I was a little girl hearing my Mom say she couldn't believe her hands were starting to look just like her mom's. I asked what she meant and she patiently pointed out the large veins, and the many brown "age" spots as she called them. I vaguely remember thinking she was crazy, Grandma is old and she wasn't.  Plus hands can't possibly look alike, they belong just to you. Fast forward, too many years to mention....
I recently removed my acrylics nails. I have had them on for 25 long years! After my 1st manicure I looked down and lo and behold, like my mother before me I saw my mothers hand in my own, large veins, the brown "age" spots, they are all there, even the shape of my fingers. Since I look so much like my Dad I never imagined I would see what I saw. My mind tells me it should make me feel old, but its strangely comforting. Now I am beginning to wonder will my daughter who looks so much like her dad find herself looking down one day and see history in her hands. Only time will tell..

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way-- Charles Dickens

With the new year approaching I find like many that I must put the passing year into prospective.

It was the season of Darkness.... This past year and a half I have felt like I have been living in quicksand, always one second away from going under. There truly were moments of "this is the the worst of times, it can't possibly get worse", and then it did.  Six months after we lost my mom to cancer my dad passed away on their 55th wedding anniversary, two days before Christmas in 2011. It was a year of unbearable heartbreak and loss.

It was the spring of hope.....Just like you read in a novel, in the middle of despair there is always a glimmer of hope. It's that rope extended to you just before the quicksand engulfs you.  On the anniversary of my mom's passing my son and daughter-in-law found out they were expecting their first child.  I will admit I don't have a clear understanding of the afterlife and if I even believe in such but I did feel like it was my parents saying to me enough tears- life goes on...... it was now the season of light. 

So as this year passes I have come to the realization that what I have experienced is just the circle of life. While I have lost my parents I am about to have my first grandchild, a little girl.  I have a husband who I love and who loves me, three incredible children, a daughter-in-law my son was smart enough to marry and we adore, amazing siblings who give me strength, plus great friends. All of whom helped me see the light when I thought I was in total darkness. 

It is a circle full of darkness and light on any given day, and I have to just pray it is more hope and light, only time will tell........